Why people need to get married?

Rizki Kelimutu
3 min readJun 2, 2015

This question popped out while I was having a conversation with a friend of mine. She was in the age of what people consider ‘the age to get married soon’. As we live under the same roof, I know exactly how she feel anxious because she hasn’t found a suitable man as her companion. Despite her age which she considers as not so young anymore.

I’m on the other side, is a typical 21 y/o kind of girl. What else you can expect from a 21 y/o girl, who still busy collecting her puzzle, and passionately pursuing each of her dreams (I recently launch my personal website, by the way)? Besides, I actually have a big curiosity to a single lifestyle. I mean, just because some people are not married, doesn’t mean that the human population will disappear, right?

Watching how anxious my friend was, I was wondering myself. I didn’t really understand why we need to get married? When we have a choice to live independently without being a burden for someone else. Why does she seem so desperate looking for a companion for her life? What so special about marriage that she desperately wanted?

But don’t get me wrong. It doesn’t mean that I against marriage. Marriage is a good thing, I agree (although I’d say, only if it’s done well). I just don’t get why people are putting so much energy to fuss about it? Is it because of societal pressures reasons? Or is it because one can only rely on her/his partner in order to get financial security?

But then she replied succinctly. “You’ll know when you grow older.” She then added, “You may able to stand for yourself today. But next time you get older, you may not strong enough anymore to live by yourself anymore.”

Boom! I feel like someone punched me in the face. Maybe I’m practicing too much mindfulness that I finally forgot to think about the future. I mean, as a 21 y/o single girl, I get used to living with freedom and self-sufficiency. So I don’t really get why we need somebody else to support our life when we can do it ourselves?

So then, I held a little survey recently. I asked a few friends why humans need to get married? A male friend of mine answer “because I’m a man. I have hormone.” I guess that makes sense. Then the others mostly answered with their own personal reasons.

So I finally come up with a conclusion. The reasons will differ on each of us. Some people may decide to get married because of love, companionship, family pressure, financial security, or some other reasons. It’s totally up to us to decide why we want to share our life in a marriage.

Obviously, I’m just an ordinary 21 y/o curious girl. Trying to figure out the reason of some aspects of life. And now I finally understand their reasons, although I’m still figuring out mine. So, what’s yours?

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